Hardy Perennials

As promised, here is my next blog entry that is not a downer! :) I knew my life would provide some more fun stories. I will begin by saying I was determined to stay on top of the weeds in our yard this year. I even purchased a pre-emergent spread that is supposed to kill any before they showed up.

Since we didn't get it down until after the weeds had peeked out of the ground I had to change my approach. I discovered most large weeds would come up if I used a shovel to pop the roots under the ground and then I could pull the weed out without damaging the grass.

Last week, I was on the phone with one of my sisters who had just spent the day weeding her yard. I thought to myself, "I can conquer these weeds right now." I headed out to the front yard with my gloves and a shovel and Mario and Joseph in tow. (Andrea was in bed with pneumonia).

We dug and pulled until my fingers ached. At some point I began to get frustrated and I called the weeds all sorts of things like, "dratted weeds" and "dastardly weeds" and "dang dilapidated weeds." A relatively unimportant point to make about the weeding, but I was trying to stick to non-swear words for the weeds. The roots ran deep and the leaves were all tangled. Some were so bad I had to squat down to get all of my leg strength to pull them out.

Mario took one of these silent squatting moments to correct my colorful country substitute language and said that I should just call them "hardy perennials." To this suggestion I gave a great laugh that was mingled with a scoff and reminded my darling man that the scriptures called them noxious weeds and said they were here to torment me. In my logic, if they are here to torment me, then I am allowed to give them every hint of where I think they should go and how fast I want them there! Mario just sighed and shrugged his shoulders; and I, without an ounce of shame, continued muttering my abuse to the "hardy perennials."

At some point Mario went back in the house and Joseph and I were trying to get some more weeds pulled. I was still on the phone with my sister while trying to pull/pop weeds, which caused some bit of amusement to our neighbors I am sure. I had the phone tucked under my ear and the shovel in my hands while stepping on the shovel and trying to pop weeds. At the same time I was trying to give Joseph directions about which ones were loose. Why I didn't just hang up the phone I will never know. I guess it was literally glued to my head. Wow, why didn't I hang it up! Haha! I just can't get enough of talking to my sister I guess.

Joseph made only one big mistake during our de-hardy perennialling (de-weeding). He wore sandals. He soon regretted this as dirt kept spilling onto his toes from the roots. Every time a huge glob of dusty, bug-filled dirt, touched his toes he would squeal and grab me for balance and he did a little dance trying to shake everything off.

I never really had warning before this would happen. I would be innocently talking to my sister, he would scream and grab me, and I would scream. One of the reasons I screamed is because Joseph kept grabbing me with the muddy weed still in his hand to balance himself. The consequence was that he dumped a whole mess of dirt down the back and front of my shirt. Yuck!!!!! The worst thing he did occurred when the biggest lump dumped onto his foot. He reached for me again to help balance himself and instead of dumping mud down my shirt he began falling backward and lifted my shirt up for the whole neighborhood to see. "Great!" thought I, "As if this wasn't already a spectacle!" :)

I had reached my breaking point and decided that Joseph needed to go to bed, however well-intentioned he was. This is just another example of the lesson we keep learning. You must have the right equipment for the right job! :) For example, tennis shoes instead of sandals and a thicker shirt tucked in cause you never know!

We have since weeded half of the front bed of flowers and put in new plants. It was worth the work and the sweat to have at least half a decent front yard.

picture taken from: http://stmedia.startribune.com/images/630*420/5gard0622.jpg

The Beast at the Door

Yesterday Joseph helped me to clean out the area of the kitchen by the back door. We hadn't used the back door for a while because the frame was messed up from the screen door hydraulics being too tight. We vacuumed and killed spiders (bleck!) and removed the hydraulics so at least the door is usable. What a challenge it was! Joseph and I took turns using a hand screwdriver and a drill to fix the problem. The screws on the bottom were actually bent. We had to open the screen so that I could get leverage on the very bent screws. Joseph was our wasp guard and would warn me when any came near. We have had a problem with wasps every year since we moved here, and despite many websites spouting their usefulness, I feel a need to irradiate them. At every sound Joseph would come run in and shut the door.

He didn't used to be afraid of paper wasps, but last year he was stung and bit 10 times up his arms so he is a little twitchy now. On Saturday I actually had to walk outside with him for a while to convince him the evil bugs weren't out to get him. This was a difficult task seeing as there were at least 20 buzzing around our grass angrily looking for food. (this heat wave has not made the wasps more docile and lethargic like it has done to we humans!)

Back to Joseph's door guarding. He told me at one point that a wasp had come in, but I hadn't seen it so I persevered with my plyer and drill attack on the determinedly crooked screw. We finally conquered the door and cheered at our great success.

Later in the day, I was in bed filling out some paperwork while the kids and the hubby were soundly sleeping. Just after midnight I looked up and there is a great black wasp glaring at me menacingly from our bedroom door. The wimp in me came  out and I woke Mario hoping he would save the day. Unfortunately he was too lethargic. (we can blame the heat? :)He checked for spray in the kitchen but couldn't find any and he had no other ideas to offer.

I truly felt that mother bear feeling coming out of me as I rushed to the store for poison so I could protect my precious cubs from the evil invader!

The store clerks chuckled at my experience and I grimaced back with a half grin. They offered their advice as I checked out and I left their amused eyes behind to save my household.

When I arrived back home, I found that the lights had been turned off. I had hoped this meant that Mario had slain the dragon, but I found him sleeping soundly without a care in the world. Was I going to be able to sleep? I think not. I kept vigil in my room, continuing my paperwork with one eye constantly on the watch (with the aid of my peripheral vision). The can of Hot Shot was sitting on the bed beside me.

Around 1am I saw a big black winged thing enter my domain and land somewhere around my bedside lamp. Excellent, I thought, I was just getting tired enough to not care! So I prayed a wasp prayer. Now I have learned from experience that I need to be specific when I pray. I can't just say, "I hope I find the wasp" because the answer could be that it lands on my nose. This in mind I prayed that I would see it before it saw me and that I would find it before morning.

Around 2am I found it as I went to put my computer down. It was sitting on a piece of paper on the floor. My reaction time to stressors is usually around three seconds. These three seconds I spent trying to think of the best position to spray it from and I sent a few more prayers to Heaven that it wouldn't move! I also quickly read the bottle which stated that the spray was only meant for outdoor use! Out loud I said, "You must be joking!" (This caused Mario to roll over in bed.) I decided that I didn't care and that I would spray til it died. I took aim and fired one shot. It promptly began crawling up the paper. I screeched and drown the beast with a new flow. It stopped moving. Whew!

The adrenaline was pumping through my veins after this and I stayed up a while longer to calm down. On the bright side,  I was able to finish the paperwork completely. I am glad that the adventure ended well and I am happy to report that Mario redeemed himself this morning my attacking one of the active hives of paper wasps. Another day done and another drama ended!

We shall live to fight another day!

(Image obtained from bugguide.net)