2013 and Still Dreaming

What an adventure this house has been.  I have often wondered why we needed to go through this experience.  I believe I might know the answer now.  My heart's greatest desire has been to help other people. I believe I needed a time of humility. A time where I had to swallow my pride and ask for the help of others because my body wouldn't let me do the work I needed to. I believe we had to pass through these trials so that we could empathize with other people who are struggling.

I have felt so much sadness and pain as the years in this house have progressed. I have also found a great treasure.  I believe I now know what real and abiding joy feels like. In the midst of the trials, moments have come when I know that God is watching over us. I have learned to appreciate the children's laughter and noise more. I appreciate every precious moment I get to spend with Mario and the children. They are golden.

I do feel discouraged at times because I have a dream of so many better things for my family. I dream that my children can be in the country. I dream that we can run a farm together and they can play outside unrestrained. I dream that Mario can focus on his work and not have to worry about a house falling apart while he is away. I know he worries about how to pay for all the fixing this house needs.

I dream that Andrea will stop getting pneumonia from a drafty room (second time in two months). I dream that we have a house that I can have space to pray and read my scriptures, exercise and sew, without waking my family from their sleep. I dream of the children sleeping in real beds instead of beat up mattresses on the floor. I dream of the day that the air ducts will be clean so Joseph's asthma won't flare up. I dream of peace and comfort for my family. I dream that I will be able to have a beautiful garden to tend to and time and space to write my books. But most of all, I dream that I can feel my family is secure so that I can go about doing God's work. I want to lift up the heads that hang and comfort the weary. I want to use the skills I have to help build houses for other people in need. To everything there is a season and a purpose under heaven.

All of these dreams may seem far away but I believe that our season will soon change. I am so grateful to God for all of his blessings and his lessons. I will continue to hope and dream. I know that this life will never be without stress and sorrow. I also know, that God wants His children to have happiness and peace. When the time is right, and not before, we will be able to move forward in our lives.